A premature lost of anyone good at his or her own work is hard to accept.

A premature lost of anyone good at his or her own work is hard to accept.

Today's headlines in all national papers was none other than the demise of Sdr Karpal Singh. God took him away in steps. He might be kind in a way that Sdr was given back to us for a few more years. The reality is still too cruel and hard to be accepted. Everyone in the nation that has a heart mourned for his leaving. It's never enough to have a great person around.

I am just a little woman with a job. I do not belongs to any political party. Yet, it's still shocking enough for me when i checked my facebook page at 5am this morning. Another hoax, i was assuming it was. The leaving of Sdr affected me more as i read more on him on The Star this morning. His contributions to the justice and injustice, to our political arena and to us, every lay person staying in Malaysia (some are none Malaysians) were enough to be comparable to Gandhi, someone suggested. I wept a little this morning and I menghinakan those who openly cherished his passing.

Enough weeping to start my Friday morning, I again have my Friday afternoon ended with a shocking-to-me news.

I feel shameful to be, in fact feeling more in shock, when i know my colleague is leaving us for a greener field (department).

Mimi told me at 5:07pm that she's leaving Dietetics for another department. I went speechless and almost wanted to scream at her.  Why are you leaving me?! I can't scream at the dead and deaf, but i certainly can scream at her.

I sat on my chair holding on to my yellow pillow. It was there to cover my mouth and hold my breath. Holding my breath for almost a minute managed to hold off my adrenaline. I calmed down.

I know, in fact, and feel for her frustration and insecurity.  All her mentors and seniors has left the company one at a time. She's the last one to go.  She explained to me it's impromptu, but i told her back i could see its forthcoming a few months ago, when she described all the interesting job opportunities posted on the paper.

Why did I feel sad at it, i asked myself on my way home. I knew I was stepping hard on the accelerator, but my speedometer insisted to stop at 60km/hr.

It's in fact part of a real life, when the old goes and another new one comes. The answer to that was, I am the next person to face the similar scenario, to make the same decision, on whether to go or to leave.

All right, then i told myself. Should I leave or should i go? I asked.

I think i will stay....  


Written on April 17, 2014